I’m so not ready for this. Who would be?

I was quietly working at my desk, my son was lazily watching the Discovery Channel. I was listening but not too closely.

Type type type type goes Mom.

…and the horse will need to ejaculate into this artificial vagina…

stop typing

…wow he’s really going to town!

get up quickly walk over to bed and tv. I look at the tv. Look at my son’s WIDE AS SAUCER EYES and then watch him roll over in bed and fake that he’s not watching.

In Which I Explain Sex To A Kindergartner, Via A Stud Horse


Massive Darwinian fail

Good thing Linda added some highlights to her Bests and worsts, one year post. That first part is really frightening.

To sauce or not to sauce

If my offspring are anything like me, this won’t work. They’ll LOVE hot sauce:

According to media sources, most pediatricians, psychologists and other parenting experts condemn saucing. “There’s no room for pain and humiliation and fear in disciplining healthy children,” Carleton Kendrick, a Boston family therapist and author, told ABC News. “I think it’s a rather barbaric practice to say the least.” Other experts warned in the Washington Post article that hot sauce can sting and hurt and burn a child’s esophagus; it can inflame membranes in the eyes, nose and mouth; it can cause a dangerous allergic reaction; and it can cause the tongue to swell, thereby presenting a possible choking hazard…

BabyCenter: MOMformation » Blog Archive » Saucing: The new spanking

What are you investing in?

As the economy rebounds, people have to make choices. Here’s one I’m glad I don’t have to make:

Apparently there are some people out there who wouldn’t dream of dressing their little darlings in used clothing. I on the other hand wouldn’t dream of paying good money for something my kid will wear for a few hours before barfing, pooping, or painting all over it…

I’d be opting for hand-me-downs (like I wore when I was little). You?

If it weren’t for hand-me-downs my kids would go naked

Dealing with potty training

How do you deal with pooping on the potty?

Thankfully, I don’t. Yuck.

9yo Microsoft Certified Prodigy

Via GeekDad. Micro$oft’s marketing department must be squealing with glee:

She’s obviously a very smart kid, and that’s great. But how many kids that age decide to take the MCP exam on their own? And how many families who claim never to force their kids to study put up websites crowing about their kids’ achievements the way this kid’s family has? Could they repeat the words “child prodigy” a little more often, maybe? Seriously, whether she’s 8 or 9, no matter where she comes from, she deserves to be able to be a kid without too much pressure from her family and, possibly, her government…

I can see the marketing campaigns now “Microsoft network administration. So easy a 9 year old girl can do it.”

Why Is It a Good Thing When a Nine-Year-Old Becomes a Microsoft Certified Professional? | Geekdad from

When Worlds Collide

Rachel Sarah brings up something I never would have thought about. Glad she did first & shared:

Some of you have blogs online. Do your kids know about them? Have they ever read any of your posts?

Some of you comment regularly online, too. Certainly, your children have asked you — as you type away — “Mommy/Daddy, what are you doing?”

What do you say?

The deal with Mae these days is:

1. She gets to approve any photos — if she’s in one — before they go live, that’s a rule we’ve made.

2. She gets paid, too. (I’m not kidding. That business-minded girl wants at least a buck per photo. Although, as she says, “If you can’t really see me in the photo, it’s 50 cents.” I guess she is my assistant over here.)

Geez. By the time I have kids and they’re old enough to get online, I’ll have several years of activity they can read. How do you prepare for that?!

Have your kids discovered you online? | Single Mom Seeking…